December 12, 2020: Bobby Russ
In many ways, the world keeps moving forward in time. It's the nature of our reality. One of the things that me and Renee did in the past was have some of those hard conversations about... What If?
As humans, we don't often like to face the "What If" questions that may seem "dark". Renee and I had several of those discussions. It helped me learn about her wishes for the future. I'll be honest that I never would have dreamed that she would pass from this plane of existance at such a relatively young age, but that's the way life is. She expected to live at least into her 60's if not longer.
That's a bit of the catch, isn't it? Renee had a great ability to celebrate the now and cherish it. She also helped create certain traditions that continue on without her. For example, years ago she created a tradition with me of watching the Santa Clause Trilogy. She had introduced me to the 3 of them and would try to find them on TV or streamed. In time, we bought the trilogy on DVD's so we didn't have to worry about finding them.
Tonight, I celebrated a memory of her by watching the first one and drinking hot cocoa. I must admit that I miss watching the movies with her. However, I will continue the tradition. I was lucky to have guests over near Halloween and was able to share the tradition of "Hocus, Pocus" with them. I appreciated it greatly.
I remember talking with Renee about several "What If's" including what she'd want if she passed on. She spoke of her daughters and trying to keep communication with them. She spoke of making sure people still had their connections. She was always thinking of ways of helping people in their interpersonal connections. I look forward to Paige coming down. I know I'm not Renee, but I hold that I can give her even a little bit of joy like her mother did.
Her present is waiting. It's something I know Renee would have picked for Paige as well as we had already talked about gifts.
In the end, as time continues, we will find our paths. Our paths are affected by the past, but the future is ours to find. Renee
would have wanted that for each and every one of us that she interacted. The search for happiness...